The one secret to having the wedding of your dreams!
Yes, you read right.
There’s only one secret you need to know to have the amazing wedding you’re dreaming of: DO WHAT YOU WANT! Before you even start planning, ask yourself, who’s the wedding for?
It seems obvious now that I’ve said it, right? So why is it so hard to do? Well, for starters, everyone else will have an opinion on what/how/where your wedding is supposed to be, and because you love your family and friends, it’s easy to get swayed and confused. There’s also the fact that planning a wedding involves making lots and lots of choices in a world of possibilities, which can lead to decision tiredness. Finally, your budget might be a big factor on the decisions you make and on who really gets to make those decisions.
Let’s talk about the first issue. You can’t make everyone happy. It’s just the way it is, so worry about making yourselves happy instead. If on your wedding day you’re glowing with joy and you’re having the time of your life, this will radiate to everyone around you.
Trust me, I’ve seen it happening. When the couple is happy, everyone is happy. If the couple is relaxed, everyone is relaxed. On the other hand, I’ve also seen brides and grooms worried about family or stressed because the day was crammed full of “things to do” and you can feel it in the room. That’s not what your wedding is supposed to be like! So picture yourselves that day, what would you like to be doing?
I get that sometimes you have to compromise but be really careful with this. If you compromise with your uncle, your mum, your nan, your bridesmaid, etc., before you realise it you’re having a mixture of everyone else’s wedding rather than your own.
Weddings can bring out really difficult situations in families, but for the most part, it all comes from love. Which means, that your grumpy aunt/aunty/cousin or whoever it may be, will forgive you once they see how happy you are on the day.
A very good way to take control over all the weddings decisions is to pay for it yourself. Sometimes it’s better to scale back and make sure you don’t feel like you owe anyone the courtesy of compromising. But if you’d like to accept money from others and you feel it makes your family happy to contribute to your special day, I’d recommend making sure that money is going into a general pot rather than towards paying for a specific part of the wedding like the flowers, the dress or the photography. That way no one in particular can lay claim to certain decisions and your budget will also go further if you’re able to put more money towards the thing that you consider important.
Remember: DO WHAT YOU WANT!
For ideas on how to plan your wedding check out “My tops tips on how to plan a wedding you really want (and not go bananas in 3 simple steps)”.
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Hi, I'm Manon - documentary wedding photographer capturing love stories in Brighton, London and destination weddings worldwide.
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